Day Eleven

Day 11

Becoming Best Friends with God

Prayer and Meditation

How can I remember to pray and meditate all day every day? How do I know that God is always there waiting for me, wanting my attention in everything that I am doing no matter how little the task is? For some this might be a hard question to answer. For me because of certain things that have happened to me in the past I know without a doubt that God is IN THE ROOM all the time. Let me tell you a story that will help you understand why I know this to be true. You might think I am messing with you, or that I am trying to pull your leg, but if you keep an open mind you will not only understand that God not only is in the room but that HE cares so much for you and me that He is willing to go to any lengths to get your attention no matter what situation you have put yourself into.

Way back when, in the days when I was caught up in my addictions and my despair so bad that I had to be alone to get high because it was hard to find people that would even dare to be in the same room with me when I would take my tie off my neck and wrap it around my left arm with a spoon full of crystal methamphetamine in front of me. My favorite radio station in the mid 1980’s in San Fernando California was KROQ the Rock of the 80’s. It played all the new wave music any thing other than rock and roll. This particular night while I was fixing up my shot for the evening, I was listening to Oingo Boingo. Just the name of the group should tell you something about the radio station and the type of music I was listening to. The syringe was ready, my arm was tied off, and I was ready. As I slid in the stainless steel needle into my vein and pushed in the plunger and began to feel the rush of the speed going into my body and my brain, I pulled out the needle and as I did, do you really think the DJ took off the record and replaced it with Bette Midler singing From a Distance God Is Watching You From Above? REALLY? But something happened. I checked the stereo, still on 106.7. Bette was still singing. KROQ never played THAT kind of music EVER. And they never just change a record in the middle of a song before. Just as I was getting my high? I got scared to say the least. SOMEONE IS WATCHING ME OUT THERE! Someone is controlling my electronics in my apartment. STOP IT I shouted like a mad man yelling into the air. They ruined my high, destroyed my evening, and made me hide under the coffee table with a blanket over it so they wouldn’t see me. (YEA RIGHT) I didn’t know where the cameras were but I didn’t want to take any chances. Someone or something was in the room with me. How else would they know the exact moment that I got high and that God was watching me? Well it wasn’t for a while but this happened again for a second time and I had had enough. After the second time every time I got high I changed the radio to classical music, piano only, and dared who ever to attempt to change the record to anything that had a voice playing. That ended that! No More Bette Midler.

Most of my drug use became nights and or days of terror. Something that wasn’t in the rooms of my apartments before I got high came out of the woodwork and or the electronics or the screws in the walls as soon as I did get high. What were they? I don’t know. Was someone there? Was SOMETHING there? Was it all in my mind? Where was my mind taking me in those moments? But one thing I do know, GOD was always there. He saw everything I was doing. As sick as I was He was there. He said He would never leave me and He didn’t. My friends all did. So were they really friends? What does it mean to be A FRIEND? God’s intentions weren’t to scare me He just wanted to let me know that He was there because He loved me. What else could He have done? It wasn’t time for the rapture yet so the best way He knew what to do was change the record on the only thing that was making sound in the room at the time. I would say that was pretty ingenious of Him.

So talking to the walls and to things that weren’t there was a common thing for me in the 80’s. But today knowing and believing that God IS HERE with me all the time is not a hard concept to grasp for me. In fact it is very reassuring to know that I am not alone now. That someone is on my side and that my days are spent with someone that knows me better than I know myself. If I looked funny talking to myself when nobody WAS in the room, at least now when the doctors ask me if I am hearing voices I better be careful when I answer them. Because I hear Gods voice all the time. And I know that when I talk back to that voice someone is listening to me. And there is no pill that will stop that one. I enjoy spending my day with Him. If I am out on the street and coming up to a bus stop and see someone waiting, I say to myself, “ OK God who’s waiting for us this time? Who do you have in mind for me to talk with on this trip?” And there is always someone. ALWAYS! I didn’t miss that last bus for no reason, because the one I am suppose to meet is on the next bus so I just relax and wait for the next one because that is what he has planned. No stress, no worry, no I’m gonna be late because I have no where to be except on that next bus.

I often wonder what other people do when they are alone. What are they thinking about? Do they think about just what they are doing at that moment or are they worrying about all the stuff they didn’t do yesterday or what they have to do later that day? Or can they just be in the moment and just be? If you are in a room with someone while you are doing a task, do you ignore them or do you carry on a conversation with them while you do what ever it is you are doing? Why should it be any different with God just because you can’t see Him in the room? Are you that insensitive? Do you just not care? Have you fallen in Love with Jesus . . .Lately?